I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize