i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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