you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
