You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
