Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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