how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
