Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
