If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
