Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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