so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize