Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
