We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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