Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
