I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
