I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't turn off my feet"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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