I cannot find my penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
