so explain again why im purple
no
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
