You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
