it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize