she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
