if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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