The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
