THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
