My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
