A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize