Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
