It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
