On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
