When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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