Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
