she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
