she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
