Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
