Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
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