Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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