Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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