i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
