ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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