Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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