i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
