Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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