I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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