It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
