she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
