dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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