Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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