Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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