he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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