True but thats because hes a fetus.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
