i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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