Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I pour the whiskey from now on
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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