How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
