We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
