In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
