There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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