We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize