sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
