i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
