Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
