Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They are going to name an STD after you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize