i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize