I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
