Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
tell me about the eggs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
