We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is the high leading the old right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
