He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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