I seem to have left my pride at pride
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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