Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The beer is more important than you right now.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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