just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
