After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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