saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
handjob tips. give me some.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
