This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
