There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
