then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
time to smoke my breakfast
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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